been a long time... i shouldn't of left you

*a letter to my blog*

Dear Blogger,

Thanks for never leaving my side as I left you entirely for other blogging platforms. It feels good to be home. Yes, I still will be posting on my Tumblr- but I will save the personal stuff for you. I like that I feel more at ease with you than I do elsewhere. I'll spare the politics and soapbox ranting and give you whats on my mind, and more importantly, whats in my heart.

jazzyLia

Pride & Rejection

Just a few short years ago, I could walk up to a complete stranger, smile and say “Hi, my name is Kaliah.” with the utmost confidence. By the time I walked away from them we would have exchanged numbers, and already set a date for when we’d see each other again. In that short time I’d learn their name, some interesting fact, whether they were on the market or not, and what they did for a living. It’d be a piece of cake.

Not today.

For the first time in my life I’ve started to get nervous at the thought of going up to a guy to let him know I am interested. I’ve been crushing this one guy for two months now and I just can’t work up the nerve to let him know how I feel. Part of my work is done for me, since he already knows I exist, but even THAT was a battle. I’m not used to being intimidated by ANYONE, especially a guy, and quite frankly, I don’t know how to handle it.

Now, if this were a friend of mines asking for advice, I’d simply tell her to get over herself and let dude know how she feels. Why the h*ll can’t I do the same when it comes to me? I have to talk to him tomorrow… perhaps I can swallow my pride (because I think that is the deeper issue) and channel some of that swag I had a couple of years ago…

Hmph, yeah right.